Totalfest VIII
So, I went to Totalfest on the recommendation of Jeff from the Lamborghiniz (and to give him a bottle of Makers Mark that I owed him). I was not disappointed. I couldn’t make it to the Thursday shows so that was a bit of a bummer but Friday and Saturday had plenty to offer. Oh yeah, forgot the camera too but since I don’t write much here too often you get to read a lot of my drivel. Yeah!
I got in Friday afternoon and hooked up with the Lambo crew. Great fucking dudes who had me laughing my ass off all weekend. They were set to play Friday evening and brought me along as the bands official roadie so I could get a few drink chips and get in free the first evening. I caught as much as I could the first night. The Lamborghinis kicked complete ass with their punk rock booty rap. Jeff handled the beats and a mic, Jason on the keytar, Pete on pimp cane and mic, Andy on mic and vocorder and the girls from Atomic Bride brought the stage booty. The sound was a little off and the set was cut short but they completed the mission. The Lambos also managed to piss off some politically correct losers who were offended by the music and someone filled a “Pussy Juice” jar that was for sale on the merch table with some shit water from the toilet. Totally fucking cowardly and lame. Last night, Jason from the Lambo crew confronted one of the assholes of the p.c. cowards to find which cunt ruined the merch. No one had the sack to admit the deed but that didn’t stop some of the ultra feminist morons from running their mouths. Some dumb chick was offended by the song “Pussy Buffet” which glorifies the munching of the box. Jason handled the fools with logic when he unveiled a nugget of truth that shut those fucking assholes up quick.
“There isn’t a woman in the world who doesn’t like getting her pussy eaten.”
Game, set and match.
I was milling around the merch tables after the Lambo gig when I heard a loud, heavy, kick ass sound coming from the upstairs stage. Doom beasts Rebreather from Youngstown, Ohio were making the noise and I was loving it. I was slowly sucked to the front of the stage with horns raised. Bought the disc from those guys and will play some tracks off it next show.
On Saturday I floated the Blackfoot with Atomic Bride and the Lambos crew. Saw a ton of big trout under my tube. I’m going to have to fish that river someday. Saturday night I caught the Atomic Bride set but I was hurting and my stomach needed some veggies so I bailed the fest and hit up the Pita Pit. Feeling ready to pound my gut with more PBRs I wandered back but ran into Andy and a dude named Justin from the Blank Its on the street and we did a quick bar hop. After seeing some bad karaoke at the VFW with inflatable guitars and drinking a quick beer in the worst lit bar in town (the Missoula Club–bright florescent hell) we went back to the show where Japanther was just finishing the last set of the night. I wanted to see Wildildlife pretty bad but since I got caught up drinking a pitcher of Bud Light and listening to a dude sing Nelly Furtado songs I fucked that one up big time. Caught Japanther in full at the after party which was cool but the basement room they were playing in smelled like b.o., piss, vomit and death so I hung in the back yard.
Overall I had a fucking blast and will attend again. Met a ton of cool people, ate some good food at the band BBQ’s and saw a lot of music. Thanks to Jeff, Andy, Jason and Pete for the good times, Millie for the place to crash, Justin for the laughs, Atomic Bride for company on the float and the dozens of other nameless people I met.
